Poems · writing

Talking to Myself

By the end of Sisyphus Part 4 I didn’t know who I was anymore

Ageless and nameless I melt in the rain

You’re doubting me, timing me,

Daring me to get up again

And is it any wonder when I do?

Do these failings still come as a surprise to you?

In a minute I’m busy.

Some thoughts they surround me

I’m barreling through the rain:

Waiting to be caught.

Wilting under and then growing into the pain

I’m finding you;

I’ll be home soon.

Look for me sighing,

Somewhere under the moon

Poems · writing

Lover’s Descent

Orpheus, I’ve often wondered, why did you look if you knew your love was behind you?

But time and distance, silence and pain are enemies of love.

You feared she was gone.

I understand now. That longing, burning sensation of loss. You won’t know if you’ve made it until you see the light, or turn around and watch your life taken away.

Small mistakes tumbling down and piling up

Unfortunate lies soon discovered bury us under their once insignificant weight

Where were we living that we were so free?

What ever gave us the idea of exception from pain?

A child’s naivety

A Romantic heart

We’re torn apart

I do miss you.

I forgot to post yesterday! That’s my April Fool’s prank, I suppose. This is one from a couple months ago

Poems · writing

Out Of Line

Frost bitten, love ridden

Cracked and bitter lips frame one of those smiles that keep you up at night sometimes

My coat does nothing to keep out the cold.

In this quiet kind of sadness,

I’m missing those warmer months.

A trapeze.

A shorter one from a couple months ago

Poems · writing


Last night I dreamt of you again 

We met in the place where this first began

When we left people behind in favor of each other

Inconsiderate now, but we couldn’t think of another 

Options are hard to find when you’re too in love for peace of mind.

I met you in that place and you didn’t disappear

You pulled me close,

I breathed you in,

The whole world seemed to resume its spin

I cannot tell you the vividness of this dream.

Lifting my chin, you said to me,“When all is too much to bear, you can come and find me here. It will not go away, but you can stay, and I promise not to disappear.”

As you whispered this to me, your body acquired a kind of translucency.

Still I held onto you, as I so often do, when we’re hidden away from the world. 

Waking up as you disappeared,

I knew you were still far from here.

But, still drunk on the remnants of that vision,

Something about it left me shaken

Can spirits collide in the dead of night? 

Did I really see you there before we said goodbye?

As the morning brightened, sharpened my mind,

I left those fantasies behind

There’s something to say, though, about finally coming home,

Even if just for a little while

Poems · writing


Walking down to school today—I hear one of those demons calling my name

Vapors whisper through my head

Sweetly they croon, wishing me dead

Daring me, they challenge, say, “what’s left to keep you here this way?” 

Knees buckle, I start to roam,

Thoughts race to every sickness I’ve ever known

Family ties, promises muddled, every tear fallen to the floor, puddled.

But when before I’d give into these secret fears,

Something stands within me, up out of the years.

Banishing this curse, this plight. 

Worries that keep me up at night 

They will never become me. I will never give in. 

I can still hear them whisper, “just let me win”

But bloodlines are a fickle thing

I’ll put an end to this suffering. 

Raise the chalice to my lips

I will not drink from it. 

Poems · writing

Out To Sea

She thought she had it all figured out, all grown up, so very wise

That little daughter, only so much cannon fodder, used as someone else’s guise

No match for pirate’s, a little girl like she,

When they tossed her in that barrel she was carried out to sea

No mermaids here, no siren’s laughter,

Only that little girl with waves that thrashed around her

They were hungry, and it had been so long, since they were fed by little more than song

A memory then, she heeded here, of those pirates whom she never held too dear.

One of them would tease and pry, rejoicing at tears of frustration flushed from her eye

Another one, his name was Cree, always knew she’d be thrown out to sea

The third, she thought of, had deep blue eyes, and in desperate want of a better disguise

With short cropped hair and baggy clothes, this pirate didn’t look much like a woman, she supposed

Still, she knew now too late, the cleverness of that particular crew mate

Hopeless and hapless she drifted on,

Days bled into nights,

(You can’t exactly tell when there is no light)

And she felt drawn

Through this despair she did not weep,

Though that may have been due to the lack of sleep

A barrel is not a comfortable home, but in her heart she was far from alone.

She remembered her friends on the shores of Merleign,

The boy with grey eyes who would walk down her lane

She was always glad to make him smile, as it made him that much happier, for awhile

Now she had to focus on her own pain, and not on a world so far away

Thinking of her father’s words, she found some strength and quietly versed,

“Draining all my life out, worrying over you

But you’re gone out of my sight and there’s not much I can do

I’d just as soon fly from here if I thought I’d get some answers

Struggling with what love means and whether we’re all in danger

Though something stops me in my path

Every time I go, my love, I’m sure you’d laugh,

But I’m afraid somehow of what you’d think of me.

Showing up announced, an unwanted pithily.

So I travel on, wanting more of your song,

Though now it’s up to me to form the melody.”

The daughter squared her shoulders, bracing herself with her father’s poem,

Pushing up against the wood, splinters welcome a blessed pain,

As she breaks through she can see sunlight again.

Using a long scarf to catch the breeze, striped colors flashing bright,

The little boat (for that’s what it has become) darts over the waves chasing away her plight

A smile lights up in her face, and she’s on her way,

And not a single cloud,

(Except that fluffy one)

Covered the day.