Poems · writing

Talking to Myself

By the end of Sisyphus Part 4 I didn’t know who I was anymore

Ageless and nameless I melt in the rain

You’re doubting me, timing me,

Daring me to get up again

And is it any wonder when I do?

Do these failings still come as a surprise to you?

In a minute I’m busy.

Some thoughts they surround me

I’m barreling through the rain:

Waiting to be caught.

Wilting under and then growing into the pain

I’m finding you;

I’ll be home soon.

Look for me sighing,

Somewhere under the moon

Stories · writing

A Conversation

I feel stuck here, sometimes.

“Where?”

Earth? I guess?

“Couldn’t you just leave?”

I mean, sure, but what if I get to space and I get fat from carbon dioxide inflating my body or something

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

You don’t know everything. Plus I might end up missing home probably.

“Have you ever left?”

Not really.

“Then how would you know?”

That sounds like a trick question. I did say I wasn’t totally sure.

“Well, if you want to leave, but you don’t want to go to space, maybe you could go on a vacation.”

Doesn’t that cost money?

“Why would I know that.”

You’re supposed to be super smart!

“Like you said, I don’t know everything, and I choose particularly not to know about money.”

Oh.

“So what are you going to do?”

I don’t know. Probably just stare at the sky for a couple more hours instead of everything else.

“I see.”

You can sit with me if you want

“Sounds like an acceptable plan.”

Poems · writing

Rainfall Reminiscence

I remembered today how long its been

Since I have lived without a friend

That simple act, those secret talks

Midnight brandy hour, risky walks

Frogs and birds outside my window,

Their songs harp melodies which never change

And by their singing, every night, I’m brought back to that place again

The time in which I grew to know

Within the dark, how far I’d go

Living among early dew, stars above and moon askew,

I’d always find my way back to you.

Poems · writing

Dreaming Electric

Sometimes I wish I were an android

My only worry to look troubled and pretty

Wondering if there were more to me than circuitry

Tangled wires and synthetic skin,

Obeying a creator’s every whim

And, what, be a surgeon? A maid? A mother, to children who have nothing left in the world?

I wonder, would I be content with the part that I played, or would my heart remain, rebellious in its strain, chasing dreams that always seem so very far away.

Disillusionment is a jealous game, one I try not to abide in,

How easy, then, would it be to forget any sin, comforting knowledge in the fact that it was all part of your program. Life as a joke. Possibly a gift. Depends on how you look at it.

Cracked rib cage,

(Iron bars)

Heaving lungs,

(Rubber scars)

Beating heart,

(Prosthetic pump)

All parts of me nothing but a lump of machinery. Imitating life.

And I don’t think I could ever really know, without searching in the depths below, whether or not I truly have a soul.

Today, though, today I will stay. I know I’ll find out. Either way.

Poems · writing

Nefelibata

Last night I dreamt of you again 

We met in the place where this first began

When we left people behind in favor of each other

Inconsiderate now, but we couldn’t think of another 

Options are hard to find when you’re too in love for peace of mind.

I met you in that place and you didn’t disappear

You pulled me close,

I breathed you in,

The whole world seemed to resume its spin

I cannot tell you the vividness of this dream.

Lifting my chin, you said to me,“When all is too much to bear, you can come and find me here. It will not go away, but you can stay, and I promise not to disappear.”

As you whispered this to me, your body acquired a kind of translucency.

Still I held onto you, as I so often do, when we’re hidden away from the world. 

Waking up as you disappeared,

I knew you were still far from here.

But, still drunk on the remnants of that vision,

Something about it left me shaken

Can spirits collide in the dead of night? 

Did I really see you there before we said goodbye?

As the morning brightened, sharpened my mind,

I left those fantasies behind

There’s something to say, though, about finally coming home,

Even if just for a little while