Sometimes breathing is the only function I can manage.
An automatic process.
Meanwhile you're paralyzed by the mess
A cardiac arrest of the mind,
Nothing solid.
Out of reach, out of mind, didn't know we'd run out of time.
I dreamt of something I no longer need.
A memory of a time when you were still here to talk through it all with me.
And aren't you?
Are you?
I've been here before and I've never been born and I don't know how to think of the sea anymore.
If the skies could give you back to me,
If you could just lend me your shoes,
I promise I'd get them back to you
But only if you'll stay,
Only if you'll stay.
Tag: death
A Letter to Ma Mei
It doesn’t make sense that you’re gone.
Some days it feels like I could still reach you if I tried.
Your name is still in my phone
Did it used to be that easy?
You’ve always believed in me so completely.
I promised we’d watch Cinderella again;
Was I really so busy?
Was anything I had to do better than spending time with you?
You were the safest place I had.
I know you wouldn’t want me to cry but you’d still make it feel alright to do so.
This isn’t even a poem anymore I just miss you.
I don’t understand.
I would go to those fuckin creepy nursing homes that you loved so much just to sing with you again.
My thoughts keep colliding with the fact that you’re gone.
How is it possible?
No new memories to share.
No new stories to tell.
No phone calls to ask how I’m (and everyone else) is doing.
Your name is still in my phone.
How can you really be gone?
I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with the answer.
Death is No One’s Friend
Every problem that I've ever had has turned rotten in my mouth.
A stone or a bezoar stuck in my throat.
A heavy dark bird resting solidly on my chest, softly chiding me to accept, accept.
House of life and death,
Security and emptiness.
It's all one and it's all nothing while life seems to promise forever.
That stupid lie we tell ourselves while we're still too young to know.
I don't want you to go.
I don't want you to go.
Please keep me young enough not to know.
I don't want you to go.
Woolgathering 